Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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