We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
