Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
