She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
