wakey wakey hands off snakey
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
