why do cheetos always look like penises
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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