Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
