I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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