Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
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Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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