My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
