Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
