he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
