I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
