i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i now understand why vodka
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize