I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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