your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
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