I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
