omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
My feet surprised me
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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