and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
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I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
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she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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