There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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