don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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