So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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