actually, I'm a sock model
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize