So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My cat gives me a boner
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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