Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
where are my eyebrows?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
