Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I got inside last night via doggy door
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
