chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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