there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
