you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
