Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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