hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
please come you make the beer taste better
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
