Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
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