i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
