it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
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