Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
