for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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