I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
