I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize