just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
