Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
