Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We are all done wearing pants today
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
