are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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