The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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