There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
