Are we in a gay sports bar?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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