you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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