am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
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