would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize