you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
