I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize