I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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