so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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