You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
