someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize