when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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