i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
