I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
