i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
