So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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