Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize