So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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