highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
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WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
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WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Dicks are not precious.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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