Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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