you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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