Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize