Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
