ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
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