I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
