I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
