haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
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who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
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the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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